Prayers

The following are a few prayers that I plan to incorporate into my regular spiritual practice:

Morning Prayer

O gracious Goddess, 

O gracious God, 

Lend me health, strength, and love

During this coming day,

Assist me with the challenges ahead,

Share your divine wisdom,

Teach me to respect all things,

Remind me that the greatest power of all is love,

Blessed be

(Cunningham, 1993, Living Wicca: A Further Guide for the Practitioner)

Evening Prayer

O gracious Goddess, 

O gracious God, 

I now enter the realm of dreams,

Weave now, if you will, a web of protective light around me,

Guard both my sleeping form and my spirit,

Watch over me until the sun once again rules the earth,

O gracious Goddess, 

O gracious God, 

Be with me through the night

(Cunningham, 1993, Living Wicca: A Further Guide for the Practitioner)

Outdoor Prayers

Great horned God of nature, 

Green Man of the wood, 

God of the wild and free creatures of the earth, 

Consort of the great mother and protector of her gifts, 

Come to me Green Man of the wood, Lord of all living things, 

I invoke thee with love and honor 

(Magickal Moonie's Sanctuary) 

Earth Grounding

Standing with my feet flat on the ground, say the following:

“On this earth is where I stand,

Digging my roots deep in the Land,

Fill me with your energy so bright,

And fill me with your strength of might.”

Repeat three times and end with: 

“So mote it be”

Feel my energy going down into the ground. 

Bring back up the Earth’s energy.

My Fledgling Pagan Theology

I approach theology from the experiential and process perspectives, and I am a hard polytheist animist who is informed by feminist theology.

The above statement is my fledgling Pagan theology and is the result of the following reflection activity.

I am rereading Christine Hoof Kraemer's Seeking the Mystery: An Introduction to Pagan Theologies (2012). The first chapter is titled Pagan Theologies, and the activities at the end of the chapter include a reflection prompt: Which theological positions do I identify with? The following is my response/reflection to this prompt and includes some descriptive narrative as well as reflection. The descriptive narrative is for my benefit because it helps me to learn the positions and provides a source for future review. My responses include reactions to my previous life of 25 years as a leader in an Evangelical Christian church and what I learned  through my M.Div. degree from a conservative Christian seminary.

Which theological positions do I identify with?

Feminist theology: 

I don't identify with feminist theology, but I am thankful for how the movement provoked me to consider theology from another perspective. I remember the first time I heard of feminist theology was in a Christian graduate theology course. It was presented as a way to contrast "orthodox" theology. Since that time I had this nagging question in the back of my mind about the patristic nature of the Bible and Evangelical Christianity. I was constantly amazed by how women within that group accepted the implied denigration of their sex. Now, as a Pagan, I like the idea that the divine is of a dual nature, male and female. To me, a dual natured deity just makes sense, and I can't understand how so many for so long accepted the notion that God is male only. Even "he" created humans in his image, male and female. I realize that there is a great deal of theological discussion within the "orthodox" theology I was brought up on that addressed the concept of God not being limited by gender/sex, but the male pronoun used in the Bible contributes to the tacit understanding that the Christian God is male.

Process theology: 

Process theology is the idea that the divine is in a constant process of becoming; very much like the cosmos and humanity itself (Kraemer, 2012). Process theology is adopted by many Pantheists because they view deity as immanent in creation. The concept of process theology is intriguing to me, primarily because it collides with my thoroughly ingrained former concept that God is eternal and immutable. Before becoming a Pagan, my concept of God was synonymous with immutability. Now I am rethinking my theology and the idea that God/Goddess grows and changes with time provides ways for me to address some of the questions that were difficult to answer if God is unchanging. For example, has God changed his mind about a woman's role in the church? Has he changed his mind out head coverings or divorce and remarriage? I am no longer in the church, so these questions are moot, but they were problematic for me at one time. At this point I have incorporated process theology into my theological position.

Soft polytheism: 

In contrast to hard polytheism, soft polytheism acknowledges many Gods and Goddesses but recognizes them as manifestations of a single entity/deity, much like monism. This deity can be referred to as Goddess/God for gender-inclusivities sake. According to Kraemer (2012), this theological perspective resembles monotheism or possibly duotheism (if the deity has a dual nature of male and female). It looks like the benefit of this perspective is the availability to interact with Gods and Goddesses from various pantheons even though one believes there is only a single (or dual) deity. These Gods and Goddesses are only different expressions of the the Goddess/God. These different expressions could also be considered archetypes of the human psyche, but still emanations of the God/Goddess. I am not inclined to adopt this position at this time because I don't like the idea that Gods and Goddesses are only expressions or manifestations of one deity.

Nontheism: 

Nontheism is synonymous with a literal definition of atheism, but as Kraemer (2012) points out it does not include the connotations that often accompany atheism such as an attack on religious faith in general. Pagans who fit in this theological category often consider gods and goddesses as Jungian style archetypes. The notion of archetypes is a great way to explain and benefit from the similarities found in divine figures of myths from around the world. I must admit that I vacillate between this view and hard polytheism. Sometimes I feel like I am trying to conjure my belief in the gods, at which point I just ask myself why is it necessary for me to believe in actual deities? However, this resistance to faith in the divine could still be part of the emotional fallout I am experiencing from my still recent traumatic departure from Christianity.

Monism: 

Monism is the label for a belief in the idea of oneness, specifically that there is a oneness to divine reality. And that this divine reality is transcendent. Similar to nontheism, monists could embrace archetypes as a way to interact with the many facets of human spirituality. The main difference between monism and nontheism, is the concept of an actual divine substance that underlies human spirituality and unifies all reality. Whereas nontheism does not acknowledge an actual divine entity but holds that gods and goddesses are human constructs to assist with interpreting life. At this point in my Pagan path I do not identify with this theological position.

Hard polytheism: 

As the name suggests, hard polytheism is a view of the divine in which the gods exist as independent divine beings. According to Kraemer hard polytheists can be critical of soft polytheists. She describes their critique as somewhat dogmatic in nature. To me this critical dogmatic tendency of some hard polytheists is kind of a turn-off. However, I like the idea within hard polytheism that the gods and goddesses are real and separate entities with which one may establish and develop on-going relationships. As a young Pagan, I find it difficult to identify gods or goddesses with whom I would like to interact. From my reading I understand that I have the freedom to interact with the Divine without knowing their names or particular characteristics. I think I will say that this is the view with which I identify, even though I do not currently interact with specific deities or pantheons. I anticipate this will change as I grow in knowledge and experience, getting to know who the various gods and goddesses are and what their areas of focus.

Animism: 

Animism is the concept that all things, animate or inanimate, have a spirit. For example, animals, plants, rocks, streams, and mountains all have individual spirits. This concept can be held by polytheists as well as other theological positions. I really like this concept because it allows me to connect with the environment in which I live and the things that I observe from day to day. This is one of the things that drew me to Paganism in the first place, a faith that is connected to what I see and observe, such as the cycles of the moon and sun. Connecting with places, animals, and plants has always been a part of me. Throughout my life I have often felt a sort of resonance with other entities such as animals, plants, and places. I denied this experience while I was on my Christian walk, but it was still a part of me. This position is definitely a part of my theological thinking.

Experiential theology: 

Experiential theology is not necessarily a theological position distinct from those discussed above, but a way to approach theology. In most of the Pagan books I've read, Paganism is more about practice than belief or doctrine. In my opinion practice/ritual is a way to experience what I believe, or at least a way to enforce, enrich and develop what I believe. I really hope to establish some ritual practices to take my Pagan experience to the next level. So I would say that experiential theology is a part of my theological thinking.

Summary: 

Based on the theological positions discussed above I would say that I approach theology from experiential and process perspectives, and I am a hard polytheist animist who is informed by feminist theology.

Your dog needs to be on a leash!

The other day this old guy says to another guy "your dog needs to be on a leash." The other guy is just walking across the parking lot and his dog seems happy, but is off leash prancing about the guy as he makes his way from his car to his apartment. The old guy has a little Yorkie, which is on a leash. "Prancer" is curious and and playfully begins to make his way toward the Yorkie, which is when the old guy picks up the Yorkie and says "your dog needs to be on a leash." Prancer's owner replies, "oh he's okay." But the old guy says "no he's not, because now I have to pick up my dog so they don't get into it." Prancer's dad quickly realizes either he is not going to win this argument or that it is just not worth it and says "okay" as he goes into his apartment, Prancer happily following close on his heals. The old guy puts his Yorkie back down on the ground a continues their walk.

Same old guy out walking his Yorkie on a different day and a woman walking her two small dogs (both may be Chihuahua mixes), one on and the other off leash. The off leash dog begins to approach the Yorkie and the old guy picking up his dog says "your dog needs to be on a leash." Lady Chihuahua replies "other people do it." This begins to aggravate the old guy who says, "that doesn't matter, your dog needs to be on a leash," to which she says again "other people do it." The old guy can't believe that an adult would make that argument. So the old guy responds, emotions escalating, "when your dog is not on a leash I have to pick my dog up so they don't start fighting." To this the woman replies, you guessed it, "other people do it" and she continues walking on past never looking at the old guy. The old guy carries his Yorkie out of the area and then continues their walk.

Finally, the old guy is carrying his Yorkie down the long flight of stairs from his front door to begin their walk and is confronted at the foot of the stairs by a guy walking his two small dogs, one leashed the other not. Two-dog guy looks up and conscientiously says to the old guy "which way are you going and I'll go the other way." To this the old guy says, you guessed it, "your dog needs to be on a leash." Two-dog guy doesn't respond, but stands there looking at the old guy as he carries his Yorkie around the corner and out of sight. Later in the walk, the old guy sees two-dog guy come out of his apartment with both of his dogs leashed. From about 20 yards away two-dog guy notices the old guy and shouts "They're on a leash now!"  The old guy responds with genuine gratitude, "thank you!" Two-dog guy then the shouts "are you happy now?" The old guy says, "yes, thank you!" They all then go their separate ways.

If it isn't clear by now, I am the old guy. After each of the above encounters, I walked away a bit agitated, but more disappointed in myself. I don't want to be that old guy that shouts at people who are just out walking their dogs. Sure, I am justified because the rules are clear about dogs being leashed at all times. Also, even if other dogs are not aggressive but just curious, my dog is unpredictable and when the two are sniffing each other my dog often lashes out. This can provoke a larger dog to react and defend itself, a battle which my 5.5 lbs. Yorkie would be sure to lose. Unfortunately, other dogwalkers don't seem to consider this potentiality and these situations don't lend themselves to an extended explanation as to why their easy-going dog needs to be on a leash because my dog is unpredictable. Once confronted, people understandably get defensive and are not open to civil discourse at that moment.

I guess if I don't want to be that old guy, I could just pick up my little Yorkie when other dogs are off leash until the coast is clear again. Maybe by doing this, without repeating my mantra, there will be more room for civil discourse or just casual chit chat among neighbors, which is what I would really like to see happen. I want to be the friendly old guy with a cute little dog.

Hopelessly nostalgic for the 70s: I lost an old friend today

I used to be a boy, my heart was young and supple then,

But now it's stony cold, I'm old and I could use a friend.

My world is not like yours, I come from somewhere long ago.

But now there's no way back, I'm lost and feeling so alone.

You can leave me in the air age if you like,

But I'd dearly love to go back to my own time.



Today I heard my old friend Dan Eiselein died. I was checking Facebook and saw an in memoriam photo and message post from his page in my news feed. At first I thought he was kidding because I had seen a strange post from him a couple of months ago. It was kind of a rant about an ex wife. I thought this new post may have been another way to lash out at her. But when I looked at his page, his son had posted a couple of other messages on Dan's page regarding his passing on July 5th. This news hit me surprisingly hard. I am not a very emotional guy and I guard myself from getting too close to people for various reasons, but my reaction to this news has opened a floodgate of thoughts and emotions.

I admit I hadn't seen Dan since around 1979, but we were pretty close at the time. We worked together for a couple of years and were roommates during one of the funnest periods of my life, from about 1975 through 1979. It is that time of life (ages 18-24) that I am hopelessly nostalgic for. It was such a carefree time of close friends (Dan being one of the closest at the time) in a very special community. Many of us worked at a place called the Mission Inn, which is a national landmark in Riverside, CA. We all lived within a few blocks of the hotel in cheap little old houses on the same street, it was kind of a community of hippies. Dan and I were roommates in a two bedroom house, for which we paid $135 a month rent. Many of us road skateboards to and from work, and much our leisure time was spent on our front porch listening to music, smoking pot, and drinking beer. All we did was work, party, and go to rock concerts.

It was at this time that I bought my first drum set and we started a band. Dan was the singer, I was the drummer, my high school buddy Ken was the bass player, and Dave (another guy I worked with at the Mission Inn) played a smokin' hot guitar. We got pretty good and played at parties and even occasionally on our front porch.

This was such a magical time. The part I miss most is the relationships with friends like Dan. I felt like I could be and say anything with these people. There was no judgment. We talked about anything and everything, and knew very little about any of it. Today my relationships feel very different. I am a professional with a master's and doctorate degree and work in a conservative higher education environment. I don't feel I can be myself and I weigh every word for fear of being judged, viewed as ignorant, or being seen for who I really am (whoever that is). This is where I resonate so much with the words to the Be Bop Deluxe song, Life in the Air Age.

I used to be a boy, my heart was young and supple then,

But now it's stony cold, I'm old and I could use a friend.

My world is not like yours, I come from somewhere long ago.

But now there's no way back, I'm lost and feeling so alone.

You can leave me in the air age if you like,

But I'd dearly love to go back to my own time.

I'm going to miss you Dan. Rest in peace bro.

My first devotion: Joined by a lizard

Two days after my dedication rite I performed my first devotion. I'm calling it a devotion because there was no special calendar or other event that I was trying to recognize. I just wanted to begin developing a relationship with the gods and local spirits.

It was a very simple ritual. I turned off my phone (so as not to be disturbed), dimmed the lights, laid out a small tapestry cloth on my desk, arranged a candle and my offering, and lit some incense. My offering consisted of olive oil in a small dish and the dish was placed in another dish into which I planned to pour the offering.

When all was set, I quieted myself by taking some deep breaths and closing my eyes. Once I felt ready I greeted the God and Goddess, addressing them as Lord and Lady. I acknowledged their presence and explained that I was approaching them with an offering and a desire to establish relationship with them. I asked them to accept my offering and explained that I did not address them by name because, as of yet, I had not found a pantheon to embrace. I asked them for guidance and to help me walk in a way that honors them, my ancestors, and local spirits, and respects the earth and people around me. After I finished speaking, I quieted myself again with a few deep breaths and closed eyes. I wanted to give the Lord and Lady and spirits an opportunity to communicate with me, if that was something they wished to do. After about one minute, I heard nothing and received no impressions. So, I closed the ritual by saying "so might it be."

Finally, in the spirit of honoring the earth, I took the offering that I had poured into the dish outside to a really nice, very private, little spot behind a utility shed at my apartment complex. This was almost the most enjoyable and rewarding part of the entire ceremony. It was a beautiful, warm summer morning. Behind the shed there is a small grassy knoll, several rose bushes, and two large pine trees. When I got there and looked up into the trees, my breath was almost taken from me, this place was perfect for this part of the ceremony. I felt compelled to say a few words when I poured out the offering. Basically, I said "this is in honor of you Lord and lady, the gods, the spirits, and the earth" as I poured the oil into the grass. Then I just stood there for a few seconds taking in the moment. As I turned to leave a big lizard (who had apparently joined me for the pouring part of the ritual) took off out of the bushes along the wall of the shed.

The lizard made me think of the local spirits. Since I am in the south west, I have been considering the Native American pantheons, but the little information I have found so far has not resonated with me. I think I will start developing a relationship with the gods of the Greek pantheon, because I am most familiar with them and there is no lack of information and myth for me to study. However, I think for the purpose of connecting with my immediate environment, I would like to cultivate relationships with the local spirits. My initial impression is that the local spirits include animals, trees, mountains, hills, and places. Perhaps the lizard will become my familiar (I really don't know what a familiar is yet, but I will say more as I learn more.).

This was a very fulfilling experience, and I hope to continue a regular practice of devotions. I want to develop my sacred space a little more and begin to get more intimate with the Lord and Lady and other gods in my pantheon.

Is it a guilty pleasure to enjoy the witch myth?

I must confess that I find myself salaciously curious and enticed by the witch myth. What I mean by the witch myth is how witches are being portrayed in today's pop culture and entertainment media through shows like FX's American Horror Story: Coven, or WGN's TV series, Salem. However, the more I read and learn about real witches, their history, and the myth that was developed in an attempt to irradiate them, the more conflicted I get when watching these shows.

These shows are reinforcing the myth that witches are evil and work in concert with the devil to bring mayhem upon humanity. However, from what I am learning through my reading on Paganism, Wicca, and modern-day witchcraft and through video documentaries like The Burning Times, is that because Christian church leaders in the 16th and 17th centuries felt threatened by pagan practices in general and witches specifically they concocted what I am calling the witch myth. Characteristics and practices that seem to be a part of this myth include being filled with malice, worshiping the devil, and cursing innocent people.

One thing different about today's pop-culture witch is sex-appeal. The shows I have mentioned make witches and witchcraft seem very sexy and mysterious. Even though witches in these shows are often portrayed as loners or outcasts (which probably is intended to appeal to teenage angst), there is something enticingly lurid about these characters.

However, at the same time that I am enjoying shows like Salem and Coven, I grow more and more angry over the mistreatment witches, and women accused of being witches, have received over the centuries. One thing that I think the Salem show is doing well is magnifying the myopic and irrational means by which the Puritans found and killed people they claimed were witches (mostly women but some men) during the Salem witch trials. It is near the end of the season for the show Salem and the audience (me) has been brought to a point of such hatred for the antagonist, Increase Mather (Cotton Mather's father), that we can't wait for him to be taken out with a most gruesome and torturous death.

Hear is my question: Do modern-day witches and Wiccans enjoy these shows as simply fictional entertainment, or are they repulsed by them viewing them as detrimental and counter-productive to their image and way of life? I am curious because as a new pagan, I don't want to offend and I want to know if enjoying shows like these is acceptable behavior in the pagan and witch communities.

My Dedication Rite

Today (July 7, 2014) I performed a dedication rite, by which I dedicated myself to the gods and to walk a pagan path that respects and cares for the earth and the people who dwell thereupon. Since January I have been reading a number of books on both Paganism and Wicca. This reading has been very beneficial, but until today I had not done anything to manifest my new beliefs.

Alaric Albertsson's book, To Walk a Pagan Path: Practical Spirituality for Everyday, provided some very helpful steps and words to recite when performing the rite.

• I set up an altar (see video below)
• I took a few deep breaths and lit the candle and said the following (quoted from Albertson's book):

Spirits who live in this place, ancestors who have brought me to this place, gods and goddesses who bless this place, know that you are remembered and bear witness to this rite (Albertson, 2013, p. 9).

• I took a few more deep breaths and waited to see if I would get any impressions, which I did not.
• I poured my offering of olive oil into the bowl I had on the altar and said the following (also quoted directly from Albertson):

Accept this offering, freely given with my love and respect. I come before you and declare my intention to live more fully as a Pagan, to take action each day that will attune me to the universe. I ask for your guidance in my choices, that through my words and deeds I might bring honor to the old gods, bring pride to my ancestors, and bring beauty and well-being to the world around me. Let my actions keep me mindful of the earth, from which I was born and to which I will someday return. So shall I thank you with joy and gratitude (Albertson, 2013, p. 11).

• After this I took a few moments to listen for any impressions, which I did not receive. I put out the candle and said "So might it be." I took the oil that I used as an offering outside and poured it on the earth. 

My next steps will include some form of daily spiritual practice. Additionally, I want to find a pantheon to embrace and learn from. Finally, I plan to acquire and/or make some more formal elements by which to perform rituals. Unfortunately, all of this still needs to be in secret because my Christian wife does not know that I have chosen this path. I hope to tell her about it when the time is right.

I took a brief video of the elements I used in the rite and described each of them.